2004 AwArD results

Less important as The BRITS, Oscars or even a Blue Peter badge!

2004 has been the year of Little Britain, BBC thress cult comedy show which has now made it to BBC1. So here are the cast of Little Brittain to award the Awards for the SnOrK AwArDs 2004.

Britton Britton Britton, or to be more accurate Warton Warton Warton. Every year Warton stock Car Club holds its SnOrK AwArDs, it's a bit pointless if you ask me. Talking of Clubs, I tried practicing my golf swing with Warton Stock Car Club, I was unable to pick it up as it was heavier than my 9 iron. First up, to introduce the award for biggest wreck, is the Vicky Pollard offa Little Britain.. 'BiggestWreck ? whatyousaying hey ? Oh. NoIcouldn'thavedoneit asIwaswithJaneintheswimmingpool, watchingthat TomsuckthetonsilsoffMaryJames, youknowher, shestheonewiththegammy footwhocan'tplayfootball likemewhocan anyway.. Do I open this envelope now, nobutyeahbutnobut.. It weren't me that crashed the car, it were that Donkey, you know him, he's called donkey cause he's hu..' THANKS Vicky, Donkeys car wins wreck of the season.
'You alright Andy ?' 'Yeah' We are at a banger race, what car do you like best?' 'That one' 'You sure, its not even off the trailer yet' 'Yeah, I know.. That one' 'Ok then Bashers olde car it is' 'I'm a pillock its that crappest car that' 'Bitti' 'No dear not until you have announced the best meeting of the season' 'Bitty' 'No open the envelope first' 'I need bitty' 'No' 'Huh Ok its Metal Mainia 3, now bitty?' 'Ok come here' 'and with that Norman took Maria in his arms and gave her a big mascot.. The End… How many words is that Grace ?' '58' 'Oh, it was the SnOrK AwArD winning mascot of Tommy Wrecker with his big bulls head, with two big horns, on each side. The end.. How many is that ?' '165' 'Hmm ok, they then had the best roll of the year, though not as good as the on of Shell in the Super Bangers.. The End'
'Welcome to fat fighters, my name is Marjorie Dawes and I'm here to make all you fatties slim again like me.. The best way of doing that is Dust.. Yes dust.. Dust anyone ? dust…. Dust? … DUST!!! Well you Super banger drivers have eaten enough dust this year following the best driver of 2004 John Riley.. So how come your still all fatties? Huh?'
Now a bloke in a dress will award the biggest hit award & best tin. 'Hello you all, I'm a lady and have no idea what cars are.. I only do lady things.. can you open this envelope for me please sir' 'There ya go mate' 'ERM I'm a lady.. The winner of biggest hit is Big Al on the Camper van of Camp TNT man, which also won best tin.. Camp, I haye camp men, I'm a lady you know, though I think if Camper Van man had locked his diff and put three bars of pressure extra in his offside front tyres, he could have escaped that hit, hmm'
Next up the Awards for Best turned out car and best turned out team.. 'Eh eh eh!' 'Eh eh eh' ripping of envelopes 'eh eh eh!'.. Phone rings 'Hi john look I'm busy mate giving # 514 Allan Woods and award for best turned out car and TNT one for best turned out team. I will speak to you later' 'Eh eh eh!'
Tap tap tap tap tap 'hello can you tell us the winner of most changed car of the year please?' tap tap tap, pause ' computer sez no' 'oh is it Yeates mini or that golden Stock Car?' tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap, long pause ' computer sez no' 'what about # 802 Capt Black and his bent Capri?' tap, pause. 'Cough'
And that's that another award ceremony over, except for two more. Best photo went to me for taking it, though you seemed to like the Jones lad in the air best.. I thought they were all great my self. Best wartononline.com supporter is to each and every one of you, but mainly the ones who bought paint from a paint seller to paint afore mentioned top website on their car. Goobile til next year…. Goodbile……
(please note if you have never watched Little Britan, you will have no idea what the hell I have been going on about for the last few paragraphs, don't worry though its not your fault and hey, its still the festive season.)

Best turned out team
A team that features in most meetings, with classy tin and good paintjobs and driving
The Invaders TNT Team V Rainbow Warriors Hillbillys C&M Super Blue n Yellows

Best Tin
A rare banger or a first time for Warton.
Might be old, and a bit frayed at the edges, but he has a smart Volvo! Might be camp, but you cant get camper than a camper van Team V, on a rare apperance, in a rare Triumph A Bonger with a Yankster A rare hearse, so Im told, caused a riot...squad

Best turned out car
Best idiviual non banger car, either awesome on the track or fantastic paintjob.
no spray paint used here, Alan Woods car, painted by Jock Andy Penningtons Super super.. Simple and very very tidy.. haley Parkinson... Her car I mean!! Scorpian car in Jnr bangers.. Awesome look and fin too Nice Ministox paintjobbi Yellow n white Footy supporter, painted by Angus' son Sean !!

Best hit
Most destructive carnage caused by a single car.
Daddy Bear at Metal Mainia 3 He Might be CAmp, but Big Al still jacks him at the Hesp Memorial

Most changed car
Different paint or body job, or a wreck, non banger.
Captain Blacks not so Super capri, though it was racing the next meeting! Same meeting but Daz has a bent stocky, though it was racing the next meeting! Mr Yeats found a use for his old paint

Best roll
Height and number of rolls, speed of entry and did it land on its wheels...
Lord Snr massive MM3 roll The Hesp Memorial roll
Emmas Super rollover Metro Roll, Bad Newz for car 50 Hugh would believe this Super roll

Photo of the year
The best pic I have taken in 2004.
Awesome photo, even if I say so myself, a clear shot of a tidy roll. No action, but I took this photo without being able to see what I was taking a picture off, James in the chopper! Mikey Jones gives us plenty of action, and dirt kicking too

Meeting of the season
Best action, close racing in a single meeting, doubt MM3 will be beaten though.
MM3 Team Meeting the Hesp Memorial

Best wreck
This is the banger wreck of the season, mangled trashed unidentifable..
Alan Lewis' Westminister after Daddy Bear at MM3 Bones receives what he usually gives. But still smiling. The wreck of the Team Meeting, and Kev strolled away. The shocking wreck of Donkey.. He was ok though! A wot ? a brocken arm please..

Best Mascot
Loads of drivers have great mascots, but which is the best ??.
Donkey turns to an Easter Chick.. Well as a mascot! No bull, its THB Tommy Wrecker Some preffere nuddy women QC n his tiny Org

Crappist car
Looks good, gets to the pits, but thats it, just utter crap.
Looked great, sadly it didnt even get off the trailor!!! Rare Invader car for two reasons, the main one being it never made it off the trailer

Driver of the year
Most consistant driver, winning, no crashes etc etc.

WARTONONLINE.COM paintjob of the year
This is to the car, or Team that have sported the site addy on their car in a high profile place!, note they are in an album below the 2004 photo albums...